Just a Subtle Self Reminder...

You say emotion like its a bad thing...

Every few minutes I have to remind myself that I am actually in college. I find that college puts people in my age range of 18-21 in an interesting situation. In colorado 21 is around the age that you can do most things without being punished. So here I am in college at 19. I wouldn't say I am an average case and in all honesty this would require research that I am not willing to do yet, but I feel like there is some interesting patterns that have been formed in people with positions of authority. Eh I am sure there is something but I feel like a project like this would draw attention. Thanks  Tucker for the video (NSFW)...
Today I saw a sign for what I thought was foxes boxing... I was disapointed to find out it was foxy boxing. So many misleading signs around campus, it annoys me...
I wrote a comment on a whiteboard on a fridge I did approve of. Someone wrote a message on it and next to it I wrote. "Quick someone has confused a fridge as an efficeint means of communication!"
Anyway there is a massive amount of just emotion going around in college it is just some.

You'll never know how much it hurts to let you go...

The show is over it is time to go so leave me here...

Tied up to my acting post of being fake so you will never know how much it hurts to let you go every night...

Ragnorak And Ragnoroll

So recently I have been finding myself in situations where I have been pondering apocalyptic and overall just crazy situations. I caught myself watching Shaun of the Dead. I watched the Time Paradox episode of MLP again due to a conversation about Donnie Darkko. Yeah I am all over the place right now so I am going to cut to the chase and give you guys some links to fool with.

Zombehs in Florida!

T-T-T-Time Paradox!

Oh by the way, The Binding of Issac Wrath of the Lamb is out and I figure that since I enjoy playing it and I have the capture software I might just punch a few episodes of me playing through it on the blog sound good? Anyway...

-Cheers
   A.O

Oye!

Anyway so my last post got depressing fast and I don't like leaving my blog in a depressing tone so I am taking a page out of my Tumblr and posting a picture I found recentkly. (intentionally spelled wrong as a reference to something)...

Anyhow...

-Cheers
            A.O

Update 7: The Deadly Sins...

 Update 7:

That IS Batman...

 Wow how did this update get so massive... 
Let's do this. Alright so I got so much to talk about and so little time. I have graduated and now I am officially on my way to college. I have made so many mistakes in the past few weeks if not months. I have two brand new and slightly morbid and depressing pictures which focus on social problems. I even have batman. This post has been in the works for a long time and honestly when all is said and done my posts never live up to what I want them to be but I can always try, and isn't that what matters that we try.
Speaking of trying lets open up with some Great NEWS!!! That is right graduation, it is that time of year where seniors throw there caps up in there real high saying ayo gotta let go! We moving on from highschool to live our lives and I'm done trying to write the tune of Dynamite! I love the songs meaning. Not much doing on the artist though. I imagine that in the writing of this song Homeland Security picked up on a lot of planned bombings at night clubs. Oh well we all make mistakes right? I guess in my years of HighSchool though I made more then the normal amount so I guess what I should do to wrap it up like winter is just talk about what I did wrong. A LOT. Point of HighSchool education is to prepare you for the future, and for the past years I looked at it not as the opportunity to broaden my horizons but a game of abusing a system. I used to think being good in school was about having good numbers. Honestly that doesn't matter what you learn does matter. I was also too caught up on self image carefully answering to not come off as too smart or too stupid. Yeah so what it makes you a nerd to be there for grades and to learn but honestly I would rather be a nerd then someone who didn't know anything. That's how every student should walk into a classroom like an empty container just waiting to learn something, and even that is misleading because a container has limits and when it comes to knowledge limiting yourself is down right stupid, and lets not end up like the people here. Limiting your knowledge is blocking the door to your future, it doesn't really make much sense at all to have a door you can't use. That is just silly kind of like clowns. Speaking of which...

Knowledge Block!

...Crazy Clowns

That is right, crazy clowns. I know in school they teach you to transition fluidly between paragraphs but in all honesty this is more of doubling back then a transition. A lot of my school mates were a bunch of crazy class clowns. The kind that didn't realize what teachers have to go through. Now I don't fully know what teachers have to do but to go through a class full of Hot Shot teens who think they know everything takes a lot of guts, will power, and in some cases I think caffeine. So I have some shout outs to a few of my brave teachers since I don't have time to list them all and for the sake of anonymity I will only shout out what they taught. So far the certificates of being a bad ass teacher go to the math department, sociology, psychology, history, and social studies. The teachers I had who did those classes ran them beautifully and even though I might have hated the curriculum they taught I loved being in the class thanks for making school tolerable.

The Main Point:
(I like colons)

One teacher had a pretty big impact on me for making me aware of the problems in our world, so taking in his footsteps I plan on lighting some of these problems up in my own way. Let me start by saying how this applies to me though. For the past few weeks I have had a miserable time getting through life. The last two pieces of digital art I did which have been holding this update up and those pieces are.

My parents say I am beautiful but the medias image is what matters...

It wouldn't seem so weird if you knew what he went through...

Now at first glance (and all the glances afterwords) these photos are disturbing and don't seem fitting in what started off as an upbeat post. Really though I need to be honest, I can lie when I makeup stories about myself for a joke, but when it comes to well being and the real world I am down to earth and serious. Some people have problems. Recently mine have been shining through like a lighthouse in a thunderstorm. When my problems shined through I didn't really expect much to come my way. Yeah that's right I forgot I have great friends. A month or two back I was suicidal, and going through a rough time. But with a little help from my friends I got back on track and realized that even though I do have these problems, that putting them aside I can focus on problems that apply to the entire world instead of being selfish and taking my suicide attempt as a problem for myself I thought of my sociology class and how a sociological problem is a problem that applies to a society. I did these two pictures to address the problems I saw the ones that pushed me over the edge. The issue I saw was stereotypes.

_________________________________________________________________

ster·e·o·type

   [ster-ee-uh-tahyp, steer-]  Show IPAnoun, verb, ster·e·o·typed, ster·e·o·typ·ing.

noun

1.

a process, now often replaced by more advanced methods,for making metal printing plates by taking a mold ofcomposed type or the like in papier-mâché or other materialand then taking from this mold a cast in type metal.

2.

a plate made by this process.

3.

a set form; convention.

4.

Sociology . a simplified and standardized conception orimage invested with special meaning and held in common bymembers of a group: The cowboy and Indian are Americanstereotypes.

________________________________________________________________

That definition is courtesy of dictionary.com now the first three definitions are ones that are irrelevant (or irrelephant) to the current discussion but the fourth one. The one that says quite plainly, standard conception or image invested with special meaning. That is what drove me over the edge. It's really stupid to think that we could as a civilization be stuck on defining people by traits. As a society we need to move past that. Seriously. I know there are people out there who will read this and say "that's not me I don't discriminate by any silly traits!" but if you have ever once squinted your eyes to make fun of an Asian, or put on a fake accent and pretended to be ordering Mexican. You have done it this doesn't mean you are a bad person. You might have done it in jest, you might have insulted someones sexuality as a joke; but its not a joke when someone ends up cutting themselves because they are too girly, and it's not a joke when people go home crying because they get picked on on a day to day basis. It isn't always a joke even if you intend it to be. So you can either not make the joke. Or tread carefully and risk hurting someone. Looking through the yearbook at the end of the year and seeing all the quotes which boil down to... "When life gives you lemons make lemonade." I have to laugh, because life won't stop giving you lemons each second of your life is an opportunity to change something to be something better to be greater to do something. Or to put it in that cliche way, to make lemonade.

-Cheers

A.O

Not a Lemon

 

Eclipse Live Feed

Check It at!

Eclipse!

Ta Da!

Mothers Day:

You know, I always feel bad because I almost always forget Mothers day. What's worse is I don't even know what to get my mom. She has spent 18 years putting up with my bullshit and even though she says it semi jokingly I know its true. I might be graduating out of high school but she is graduating from putting three kids through high school and that itself is worth more then any stupid hall mark holiday card. I mean I like snoopy as much as the next guy but seriously for what my mom has done there is no price. I guess my best bet is to make a promise...
While I am at it.. Here is a video update for my mom showing how I would make her dinner but how it would turn out...

A.D.H.D.H.D

I really need to get a train of thought crossing sign going around this blog because I look at my writing and it is all over the place. Just a quick post nothing too big wanted to ask those of you who do read to please feel free to leave "feedback" being what I am doing wrong, because if I am somehow doing the perfectly right thing then I wouldn't need to change that. Also questions are welcome to and honestly I am running out of ideas on what to draw...
Anyway my ADHD is getting the best of me and I have upgraded it to ADHDHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder High Definition. It's that bad but I suppose that is the result of the end of senior year. Crazy short post sorry but hey...

Cheers!
-A.O

A photo from my trip...

I thought it was zen

Shout out to those who have been hurt...

You know the misery I see in all this hate is what I hate

Its the gateway drug to crime

The grime that sticks to streets and corrupts this place

From government to gardens we all are effected those words you say to people

Leave nobody uneffected

You know when you call her a hoe

Thats the reasons why she leaves those sleeves so low

To hide the cuts and scars

The insults that run her over like a car

Is it not enough that these choices turn her into the druggie at the bar

A mile in your shoes would be a snooze compared to his

Hes crucified daily about how he doesnt hit the gym

You call him gay and a faggot

Yet hes squriming like a maggot

With society squeezing in theres a reason people take to gin

And its you...

I hope you pardon the language but honestly I have had it

Criticize me if you want but first you must comprehend

That if you agree with these two statements

Try and call yourself  better than me

I believe its wrong to descriminate by traits weather race, gender, personality its all just hate.

I make jokes about stereotypes with my friends all the time I will slant my eyes like an asian for a laugh and a good time

So if the best of you can't best me consider what you say quite carefully

But all words are words and if they didn't stick they would be gone

Vocabulary wasnt built on whats right or wrong

It was built on whats left of the words you spit

Oh and the guns yes the guns

you say guns dont kill while your right

its the bullets that you spray from your mouth every day while you push people down and grind them to the ground

Let me make it clear that it isnt my emotions that you hear because its not just me

This emotion that you see isnt just a drop of water to the ocean

Its a movement from more then me

Those people next to you

That wrecked near you

There human too

so let it through its not wrong to care about someone other then you

You know I don't like Kony

But not being one to fall for a phony

I learned from bein a Brony

You love and tolerate ya homies!

Update Five:

Happy Pi Day! That is right Pi Day you know 3/14. Yeah I am a nerd respect it. So how are you guys it has been forever and a half... Sorry bout the long weight and I am not about to say the most recent work is absolutely mind blowing, I should really develop some sort of posting procedure. Procedures are great when they are used. Unfortunately I can't seem to do that recently... Really sucks. Well 8mg of pills ought to help me sleep. I hate saying that cause people make a big deal out of it but its not. Pills don't make me its the concept and content that make me. Anyway you know you play too much Plants Vs Zombies when you have all the achievments for it its pretty sad. I always find it disgusting how people judge other people. There is more for this post but I am falling asleeep! Its a day later so lets finish this up. Happy post pi day! Going to start out with a lovely conversation:

Me: has andropanda been in?

Auto: Haven't seen her, no.

Manticore: Same

Me: wonder where she went...

Manticore: Last thing she said to me was 2 days ago "DEADCOREISDEAD!"

Manticore: 2 hours later, she signed off.

Me: hmm but what does it mean? 

Something about this chat I just love, and it is the fact that its with some of my best friends ever. Yeah I swapped their names out at their request. Shout outs to them for being AWESOME, I mean seriously you guys are unreal. Yes andropanda is a name what of it? It has been so long and I feel like somehow there is still so little yet to say but in less then 10 Days I will be cruising. So that tis when the picture storm occurs. When I get back from the cruise. In the mean time I just need to wrap school up like a boss and get rocking and rolling. Once again suggestions to what I should post is always appreciated if anybody is still reading this blasted blog. Happy Saint Pattys Day weekend!
-Cheers
A.O

Salvage:

Alright so short little post because I want to explain this picture. It was done ONLY with a circle tool. NOTHING ELSE. I am not saying I have talent (because it was posted in a thread on canv.as which challenged others to do the same and they had some amazing ones.) I am just damn proud of what I did. It took a long time and honestly it does seem like something I would genuinely make. I didn't try and go overboard for once I just had fun. You know fun right? The thing you used to have a lot of as a kid. So some little advice. Sit back relax and enjoy the little things. Make a name for yourself don't make money for your name because money won't remember you while your name can live forever.
Cheers
-A.O

Numb:

 

Just Numb...

Although I suppose it's my fault for leaving the window open...

I'm 18:

I am 18 and...

I still play Pokémon

Watch My Little Pony

Color on a daily basis

Have gone to the same barber since I was four

What of it?

Its a life style. Certified awesome lifestyle Cheers
A.O

Freedom:

I believed for the longest time I was truly free. I used to think freedom was an ability and a condition. Was I wrong to think of it like that. Freedom is more like a side effect of circumstance. To prove this I will use math.
x
By itself x is a variable and can be whatever it wants to be until defined. At that point in time when it is undefined it is truly untouchable and truly free but life isn't that simple. But as more things are added onto that variable the freedom is taken away.
x-1
This would be the subtraction of a freedom such as clothing x being the freedom you have constrained by clothing. Like the cost of money


But life is more then just simple additions or subtractions there are things that can be added to help boost some freedoms while detracting from others. For example throughout the course of history we have developed technology that do free us from some constraints but in the process of accessing those freedoms we constrain ourselves. For example we have the freedom of flight thanks to airplanes but laws make us take classes in order to use them properly.
3x-1<x
3x is the multiplication from getting the ability to fly minus the freedom we lose overall from flying such as take offs and landings. But since we are limited by the plane type a more apropriate equation would be
3x-1<x<y
Same equation but "y" in this situation is the type of aircraft avalible since the freedom cannot be greater then the aircrafts capabilities.


Now x is not only itself but also itself and 1. The restraints that 1 came with will now be attached to x. So freedom could be written as an equation with each restriction is a variable. The more restrictions the more variables less freedom.
So yes I am free but constrained by that which also makes me free. Weird how that works out huh?

Update Three:

Take it to the fridge:

Really.

I don't even know.

I need to stop drafting posts at 1:00 in the morning. But I just read Cyanide and Happiness for a laugh and I came across this comic. It got me thinking about all the opposites of the holidays. Holiday spirit, without offending anybodies religious views. Although I find the tackiness of some houses Christmas decorations to just be offensive anyway. Or how we define peoples relations through presents while telling kids that really its about spirit. Although at least one funny thing did come out of Christmas shopping. When I told my mom I needed to get one more present and I was going to go drive she was concerned about my driving abilities on the ice and said

"You will go when hell freezes over."

"Mom if you haven't looked outside it already did freeze over."

She gave me that fake laugh and said

"Who is the present for?" So  I looked her dead in the eye and said.

"Well you."

I could have sworn she said dammit under her breath.

Skull'd

Now December is my least favorite month. Really. I mean I live in Colorado and I have met some of the nicest people in the world. But if Colorado's weather was a person, nobody would associate the word nice with him/her. While the weather is ideal for things like skiing and snow boarding which people in the mountains do a lot. It generally gets in the way of a lot and it is one of the banes of my existence. Now I know someone is already saying (and considering I do know a few Canadians read this blog every now and then I know who). "Yeah well its not as bad as over here." Maybe not but really I am not complaining about the amount of snow. I am just complaining about the snow and if I were in your shoes and it was snowing but worse then over here then the only thing that would change would be how bitter I am towards the snow.

Yeah I plug in my acoustic

You know what while I am complaining, I hate bats, and bees in video games. I started playing Terraria recently and as soon as I saw a bat in that game I had flash backs of every time I had to fight bats in a video game. Castlevania had bats, Legend of Zelda has bats, Resident evil 5 had a Batapillar which was a bat and a Caterpillar. All those different games, all those flashbacks came back and I prepared to fight a bat, and then a GIANT BEE came and killed me. So yeah bees. I hate them too. I like flowers because they are quiet and pretty and don't move when I take pictures unlike birds, but as soon as a bee is in one of them dancing around on top of the flower either it moves the flower enough to where the picture I take looks bad or at least worse then it already would have been. Or the part of the flower I was taking a picture of gets blocked by a fat abdomen or thorax. I feel like I sound pretentious right now though. "Hmm yes those bees are quite pesky when it comes to doing photography..." Then again with only 2 followers... Who cares what I look like especially online.
So take it to the fridge.
Now.

Update One!

Its a BP oil spill Jellyfish.

We deliver:
As for what we deliver I am not quite sure but hey got to start somewhere so my first post is going to include a couple pictures and maybe some lines from my favorite piece. Little bit about why I do all these silly little pics. It all started when I got my first computer and didn't like any of the backgrounds I found. I mean any of them because I was a bratty little kid who thought deserved the world. When I realized how stupid of a way that was to think I decided why not try and making a background. How hard can it be? As a twitchy seven year old it was very hard but slowly I believe I have been getting better ever since; its either that or every time I ask for honest feedback people lie to me. Between then and now things have changed when it comes to making images. I went from paper to Microsoft paint, and finally way too many image editing programs to come up with something I feel looks good. 

I must apologize though for my highschool level writing abilities and so if I jump around a lot and my writing just doesn't make sense then blame public school systems and my lysdexia. Strangely enough when tested for lysdexia I had high reading scores, and my math was crap. Somehow out of it though  I manage to put together fairly decent spoken word/poetry. Frankly I can't tell the difference between both so I wont pick the term for you you can do that. Here is an excerpt piece I did I think Ill leave it at that for my first post in the mean time Happy Holidays!

What happened to the old TV?

You know where I loved you and you loved me

Where we were a happy family

And not people getting punched in the face on MTV

When facts roll most from comedy central

Where is the straight talk express

When all you are really doing is weaving around this mess?

Now hey I know I am only 18

With a slightly darker then normal complexion so people group me

With the cocaine snorting Charlie Sheen’s

But

I know I am different

Even if I am not the best

All this hate in the world though is truly what I detest

Trying to be the best of me

When the rest of people look at me and see something

Non-existent

Some people judge me for what I am not

And I know right now I am complaining because of what I don’t got

But please world leave me a message after the beep

Am I failing you world

Or are you failing me?

Do I need to stand stronger alone or rally people next to me? 

Who will listen to the calls even though it might not be destiny? 

I used to think the best of me would not be caught with poetry but on the scene of 93 could I expect the best of beats to be flowing from slam poetry, so I request that at best I be viewed with a smile and do not detest that where I plea and request where I take my liberty to speak, to address the poverty that riddles those around and close to me that you should not, mock me

Intro

This is a blog:

Be nice to the blog. This is a blog about me putting up things I think look good which, when you have ADHD is generally colorful shiny things. Little bit of "art" or my doodles and a bit of "poetry" or whatever I feel like saying in a way that has some rhythm. If you have any questions or comments feel free to send them my way. Feedback is always encouraged, and Happy Holidays!

-A.O