After a lot of thinking...

And also coincidentally cynicism from a close friend I have decided to release some of my older poetry which is an insane contrast to the normally dark stuff on here I will post it sporadically and probably with a lot of regret per each piece but here is the first one. Although I am not posting them in any particular order.

So I was sitting and I was thinking about my life

and I know that

What I was given 

is what I happened to get,

and girl your one thing that I know I will never forget

What was written 

is what was wrought,

But what brought us together 

I can say not

But when I close my eyes

I can dream

I can fantasize

And even though what I was given was a life that was tough

I realize

that your Love is quite enough

But now 

Baby 

Let me hold you

Let me gaze into your eyes

Because you know the only thing that can compare to your beauty

Is the radiant display

of the night sky 

Baby let me hold you in my arms 

You make me want to cry

I don't know what I would do without

I know that part of me would die

I love you inspite of our differences

My Love is not about in if or because

Girl your the only thing I need your gods angel from above

Please just let me hold your hand

Girl you are my everything

Baby your my lighthouse in the fog

But you will never understand

I hope this is the start to a lot of happy holidays and such for all you guys and girls it was an interesting start for me. I started the day with the usual web comics and then I noticed for the past few months I have been forgetting a comic by the name of Sinfest. Really well written web comic you guys should definitely check it out, between humor it actually delves into some deep issues something you only realize after a lot of reading and a lot of thinking... Also MLP kicked it hard today was amazing...
Cheers!
A.O

P.S: Ah well I noticed one of my past posts I uploaded I forgot to say the usual "Cheers A.O, I guess the next round is on me..."

Mass Audience Mary Jane

Mass Audience Mary Jane

Ever just sit and write. Yeah I know I already sound cliche but I find the situation I find myself in a bit more sickening then cliches, and I hate cliches. Anyway I am not a big movie fan and yet here I am with some mates chilling on the opposite side of a room blasting music in my ears with my laptop out writing. All because of a weird thing I found myself having with movies. It just almost scares me how easily our mind can be tricked into believing so much time has passed, when my grasp on reality is already so weak. Yeah I know this is rambling but if you have read my blog I really hope you wouldn't expect otherwise. Anyway so lets start with what I find weird about movies. Let us start with Star Wars. A long time ago in a galaxy far away, somehow a bunch of alien civilizations decided to get together and live not in complete harmony but with a fair amount of it. Now I always wondered if I take the light years of travel into account before going back in time or if I go back in time and disregard that I am light years away. Movies just play on my grasp of reality, a good movie gets me involved with something that will never happen to me. Yet here I am taking money I earned and giving it to someone else in order for them to overpower my primary senses and put me into a delusional state of reality, where I become attached to that which may not exist. That honestly frightens me. The light emanating of the screen has the effect on my mind to make me feel like the story in the movie is part of me, the professional movie makers can make there problems your personal problems with a mixture of cinematography, psychology, sound, and it is all put together to portray a story. People freak out about people doing acid, or other drugs but that's all I really see in a movie. Another way to alter the minds perception of the world by hitting just the right triggers in your brain. I am not telling you that movies are the cocaine of the masses I am just trying to phrase what I see when someone talks about a movie to me. All it is light reflecting off a screen in just the right way, Air vibrating at certain rates we recognize. When you cry at a movie (not to make you feel bad for crying) but you are crying because those beams of light and sound waves have managed to trick your brain into making a connection with something that only we observe. All of those things fit us just right so someone can make a buck, or a billion bucks. I can't wait to find that alien life form that doesn't see in the visible light spectrum finds a bunch of all of our tools and techniques to highlight things we call important, ranging from highlighting that quote to writing I love you on a scribbled note, all of these are meaningless without the right lenses in which one would view it. I pray that if aliens do see in something like the infrared spectrum we find some way to bridge the gap. Of course why would you want to bridge it? I mean what would alien art look like if they only saw through echo location? I know those aliens would be confused to hell about a lot of art museums. Mona Lisa? No that's just a box on a wall according to my echo location. What about seeing the pyramids viewed through x-ray. I got into that one discussion again about what if what one person calls orange another person sees is actually blue. Naming really did boil down to first come first serve. Kind of pathetic but that's what made sense. Demitri Martin had the best conversation about it he talked about what happened when people were going through naming things  what would happen if they saw carrots directly after oranges...
"What are those?"

"Those are orange... Oranges."

"Then what are those?"

"..."

This is what college is to me. College is the opportunity to think about things. What I can do with these thoughts, I have no idea. Well no idea better then just putting them together in my mind then posting them up randomly to the Internet. Who reads this anyway? This all started with me typing. Just typing to get words out and now it ends with me dozing off... I should pick somewhere better to doze then some place where people are watching paranormal activity 3. Anyway how have you guys and girls in the gaming community been? Anybody seen anything exciting on the horizon besides Halo 4 because all I can think about when I see Halo 4 game play is weather or not they know those new guys look a lot like the space pirates... Not sure how I feel about it. Not sure how I feel about anything anymore frankly. This is college this is the rest of my life I looked at someone and I saw that this was the face not of a high school student but most likely the face of an adult for the rest of their life. Who I am now is who I will be unless I actively change it. I am not talking mentally but I feel like physically I guess it is setting in but the body I have now is the one that is going to stick with me forever... Bout time I realized.

Just a Subtle Self Reminder...

You say emotion like its a bad thing...

Every few minutes I have to remind myself that I am actually in college. I find that college puts people in my age range of 18-21 in an interesting situation. In colorado 21 is around the age that you can do most things without being punished. So here I am in college at 19. I wouldn't say I am an average case and in all honesty this would require research that I am not willing to do yet, but I feel like there is some interesting patterns that have been formed in people with positions of authority. Eh I am sure there is something but I feel like a project like this would draw attention. Thanks  Tucker for the video (NSFW)...
Today I saw a sign for what I thought was foxes boxing... I was disapointed to find out it was foxy boxing. So many misleading signs around campus, it annoys me...
I wrote a comment on a whiteboard on a fridge I did approve of. Someone wrote a message on it and next to it I wrote. "Quick someone has confused a fridge as an efficeint means of communication!"
Anyway there is a massive amount of just emotion going around in college it is just some.

You'll never know how much it hurts to let you go...

The show is over it is time to go so leave me here...

Tied up to my acting post of being fake so you will never know how much it hurts to let you go every night...